Manifa's Story: Our Khosk-Kap

Written by . Posted in Manifa's Story

The words have been tied and it all feels so official! You must be thinking I've officially lost my mind! Well I have. Work, school, and wedding planning is exhausting, but that's a topic for another blog. So back to the original topic of this post, my Khosk-Kap! After getting engaged, I became extremely interested in our Armenian wedding traditions. When I read about a Khosk-Kap, which literally means "the words have been tied," I knew I wanted to have one! Essentially a Khosk-Kap was when the groom's parents and bride's parents would sit and arrange their children's marriage. Now that arranged marriages aren't very common, it has become more of a celebration of love and a good opportunity for both families to officially meet. With that said, here's the story of our Khosk-Kap...

Manifa and Emin's Khosk-kap

Since I have such a small immediate family, I wanted my Khosk-Kap to be a more intimate event; however, Emin has a much larger family that wanted to be invited as well. After not being able to find a way to accommodate Emin's entire family in our small condo, we decided it would be best to just have our moms, sisters, and grandmas meet for the first time. During this time, my mom had decided to replace all the furniture in our house. We were literally sitting on our backyard furniture as couches and using a folding beer pong table as a dinner table. We decided to put off the Khosk-Kap until our new furniture was delivered. A week after everything arrived, Emin's mom called my mom to arrange a good date to come over. I remember sitting next to my mom listening to the conversation and my palms beginning to sweat. Now mind you, our parents have known each other since before either of us were born, but for some odd reason I became so nervous that they were going to be coming to our house for the first time.

On Friday, the day before my Khosk-Kap, my mom and I went to Costco to buy everything that was needed. It was very difficult for us to know our traditions and how a proper Khosk-Kap should unfold. I'm the oldest daughter and this was the first time my mom was experiencing a Khosk-Kap from the girl's side. She kept insisting that she has to make dinner because that's what they did in Iran, but I had read that you are supposed to have fruits and pastries with tea and cognac. We were like two chickens with their heads cut off; running around Costco trying to figure out what was the right thing to do. After much deliberation, my mom agreed that we should follow my traditional way of doing a Khosk-Kap. Once everything was purchased, my mom and I went home and started preparing for Saturday afternoon. We decided since I was wearing a pink dress, and that pink is my favorite color, that we would set up the house with pink roses and white and gold dishes.

Saturday morning, I was woken up by a call from Emin. My dear fiancé decided he was going to pick me up in 30 minutes because he made an appointment with our jeweler to go resize my engagement ring. I had been asking him to make an appointment for over a month, and he decided the best day to do it would be the day his family was coming to my house. That is how my hectic Saturday morning began. We drove down to LA, our appointment got pushed back an hour, the resizing took way longer than we thought, and I was a mess by the time I got home. Luckily my mom and I had done most of the time-consuming work a night before, so I jumped into the shower and started getting ready.

As I was finishing up my make-up I started to feel very nervous. My heart was beating faster than usual. I kept thinking that if something went wrong today I wouldn't get to marry Emin. I was making up the worst scenarios in my head.

Once I was all ready, I went downstairs and noticed my mom had set up the table beautifully and she had even cut fresh pink roses from our front yard and put them in mason jars around the table. It was beautiful. I texted Emin to let me know when they were on their way and he texted me back, "We are here"! I started running around the house picking up pieces of string off the couch and making sure every little thing was clean and perfect, then I heard the knock on the door. I got scared and told my mom to open it, but she told me it was more proper for me to open it. I walked to the door, took a deep breath, and when I opened it I was awed at what I saw. There was Emin, his mom, his sister, and his grandma with the most beautiful flower arrangements I have ever seen in my entire life! I welcomed everyone inside and we set up our coffee table with the flowers. From there our small intimate Khosk-Kap began.

Emin and Manifa's Khosk-Kap

We all sat around our new dinner table and enjoyed some tea with a rollet my mom made. Emin opened the cognac they had brought and we served it with the beautiful chocolates that were included in the arrangement. Everyone kept making jokes that I was going to be a good hars because I didn't spill the coffee. Everything was absolutely perfect. We took pictures and everyone got to know each other. It was extremely special to us that we included our grandmothers. They gave us advice on how to have a good and happy marriage. We talked about our wedding and finally Emin and I surprised everyone by revealing our wedding date and the banquet hall we had finally booked. It was incredible to share all that love with the most important people in our lives and I was so thankful to my mom who had helped set everything up and arrange everything at our house. After everyone left, Emin and I had an impromptu photoshoot and then we went out to celebrate with some of our friends.

There are many Armenian wedding traditions that Emin and I are unable to participate in, but it was very special to us to be able to do a somewhat traditional Khosk-Kap. It made our engagement feel a lot more official. Even though our families have met, it was nice having everyone together to share our happiness and get excited about our wedding.


Flower arrangements: Walter's Flowers

Chocolates: Mignon Chocolate

Dress: Free People

If you haven't already, make sure to check out my first two blogs to see how it all started!

Until next time!


Tags: armenian , bride , bride's story , chocolate , cognac , engaged , engagement , family , flowers , manifa's story , tradition